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Reply to "getting custody of a loser family member's child - long"
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[quote=Anonymous]I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but here goes: My 25 year old sister in law is mentally challenged. She has been in prison (accomplice when her boyfriend was robbing homes). Her boyfriend is a convicted felon (just released from a 3 year term last year for same robbery and probation violation). They are both unemployed, on welfare, medical card, etc. They are both healthy enough to work; the man is 100% capable, and even with her challenges, my sister in law has held small fast food or grocery store type jobs before. She's got horrible self-esteem, and has stayed with this guy through jail, adultery, drugs and I even think some abuse. She knows the family will only try to talk her away from him, so she doesn't tell us any of the bad stuff anymore. She says she's in love with him, and when they're separated, she's nervous and obsessive, wondering what he's doing, where he is, is he mad at her, when will she see him again, etc. We've diagnosed her as OCD, per Dr. Google, but Lord only knows what else is wrong with her. She refuses to see a doctor for therapy or anti-anxiety medication and will not get on birth control. MIL now thinks they should have considered SSI...REALLY? Honestly, SIL has less sense than her 6 year old daughter. (I Am Sam comes to mind.) Anyway, along with their 6 year old, she's currently pregnant. To paint a better picture of SIL, her OB asked if she had brain damage. A family doctor said he won't deal with her anymore because he said it's like talking to a brick wall. She throws tantrums like a toddler when she's mad. She is like a teenager, thinking if she needs $10, my MIL is obligated to give it to her. She puts her daughter in a cold bath because SIL doesn't like hot water. She makes my niece do homework at midnight because SIL was running around w/her all evening. My niece wears jeans and tennis shoes all through the summer because SIL herself doesn't like shorts. SIL can't stand a messy ponytail, so she brushes her daughter's head until it's raw. Now on one hand, I say, nothing listed here is horribly harmful, really, and she's doing the best she can, bathing her and making sure she does her homework, but on the other, her methods seem so damaging to her DD. A few years ago, my husband and I took in SIL. She only stayed a few months, then went home to be with the boyfriend. She and her daughter have stayed off and on with MIL & FIL, but they won't allow boyfriend to stay, so she ends up leaving as soon as they find another place. They move from trailer to apt to house, always with multiple other people of the same ilk. They don't interact with my niece. She's very much left on her own. She misbehaves in school and is constantly in trouble. They frequently do not have food, and have resorted to catching fish from the river for dinner. They have been know to "go camping" when they have no where else to stay. My SIL yells at my niece all the time, but we don't believe there's any abuse. They don't qualify for low-income housing, due to unpaid utility bills in her name. She can't get a bank acct because of bad check writing history. My niece in enrolled in school, but has missed 1/3 of the year. (Small town and cousins attend same school, so teachers/parents share everything.) When their car isn't broken down, he's driving it without a license or insurance. SIL doesn't partake (she says), but rest of house's occupants are definitely smoking cigs and admit to smoking pot in the house around the kids. My niece has very few toys and clothes. Even when the family stocks her up for Christmas and her summer birthday, it will be lost due to eviction or unpaid storage facility fees. The rest of my husband's family is great. One SIL has a teen-aged son, and has not been able to keep a pregnancy since. (She lost her last baby at 7 months; she would be the same age as our niece.) She has offered to take in both our niece and the unborn baby, but not surprisingly SIL and loser boyfriend say no. She won't do it because she loves her kids. He won't do it because he'll lose some welfare. I tell this long, long story, wondering if there's anything the family can do to get these kids. We can't stand seeing these kids suffer, not having the material things, the house, the interaction, everything, her cousins have. Is there any way to get custody, or are these losers "good enough" parents that it's impossible? The family has no idea where to turn, or what to do. [/quote]
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