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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I (42m) have been married to my wife (39f) for 6 months.  I have a daughter (17) and she has 3 daughters aged (14, 16 & 18).  My daughter has a car and comes and goes between my house and her moms as she pleases.  My wifes kids live with us 50% of the time.  I am not a father figure to my wifes kids and she is not a mother figure to my daughter.  I am their friend and they call me by my first name.  I have a good relationship with them and my daughter and wife get along for the most part.  My daughter does not get along with her step siblings but has her own room and is hardly ever home so they don't cross paths very often.  She usually stays over when they are with their dad.

I have a brother (40m) and SIL (40f) and are child free.  They don’t like kids but my daughter is the exception.  They spend quite a bit of time with her and they have taken her on trips all over the world.  She has been traveling with them since she was 5. Some of these trips last 4-6 weeks during the summer. My ex wife and I miss her like crazy but there is no way we would deprive her of these life changing experiences.

My wife and I were together for a few years before we got married so she was familiar with these trips and how my brother feels about kids. He gets her kids nice gifts for Christmas but has made no effort to get to know them beyond pleasantries and has no plans to take it beyond that.

After we got married my wife started to tell me it was not right that my daughter would go on these exotic trips and her kids were not included. I tried to shut this down right away and reminded her that she has known about these trips for years and my brother is under no obligation to take her kids. I also warned her not to bring this up to him directly because he would hurt her feelings.  I tried to be as kind as possible but I told her this was not even a topic for discussion.  I was not going to alienate my kid so her daughters would not be jealous.  We had that conversation last November.  I thought this topic had been dropped but it reared it’s ugly head again.

My SIL messaged me and my ex wife some dates for two trips they in the process of planning.  One of the places they are going is to Dubai.

When my step daughters found out about Dubai there was a total meltdown.  I’m not talking about just crying but whaling.  The 18 year old threw an old fashion temper tantrum.  She is on instagram and is trying to grow her page and I guess Dubai is popular place for influencers on Instagram..  My wife was so upset and kept going see see see.  What did she want me to do??.  She said either my brother take all of them or none of them.  I said that was not happening. It was a very intense argument and I flat out told her my brother does not care about her kids like that. Even if I told him my daughter could not go he would never travel with them.  My daughter is going end of story and they are going to have to accept it.

I thought that was it but my wife went behind my back and confronted my brother and texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.  He replied “I don’t like your kids and I don’t like you either.  Don’t message me again with your bullshit.”  She asked me what I was going to do about it.  I said nothing.  She was acting more entitled than her daughters and embarrassed me.

Now my wife is furious I did not defend her honor and “allowed” my brother to disrespect her and her kids.  I warned her last November that my brother would hurt her feelings and that is exactly what happened. I can’t control him.  This is causing some real issues though.  I've been sleeping in the guest bedroom for the last week.  I feel like this marriage is doomed.  Any advice?  
[/quote]

Your wife is completely out of line and she and her ex-husband did a terrible job raising their kids

Honestly you should divorce before you get any deeper into this. 
[/quote]

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