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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree the dream is move to a more appropriate senior setting and live a apart, but $2 million may not be enough to find what they want long terms at least in this area since neither is near passing away. If Dad is cognitively sharp and wants to stay put then you may need to let him make his own dangerous choices. Does mom pass the dementia screen?

You can suggest other options where they live together at AL. You can also make it clear that you won't always be available for emergencies given your own life circumstances and other concern you have.

There are a lot in the older generation who's own parents went to residential places and they didn't visit the parents enough to even know what aging looked like. They could bury their head in the sand because the place dealt with falls, food, emergencies. Now they are too special to move somewhere appropriate.

***Warning, blunt and TMI about deaths from staying put.... Among my friends who also have stubborn parents...I am seeing quite a few parents die from stuff that could have been avoided if they moved like: falling down the steps, slipping on ice in their driveway, breaking a hip and then never coming out of anesthesia, burning down the house, and bashing head on new fancy kitchen counter during a fall and then hitting head again on new fancy kitchen floor only to be found days later. The thing everyone got out of therapy is...they all died on their own terms.
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This is exactly what I am worried about for my dad:  he's on blood thinners for heart issues and is very unsteady on his feet.  Refuses to modify his bathroom or home and is one slip away from death or rehab facility.  He is too big for me or my mom to care for him physically.  What a mess. [/quote]

It's a horror show, but they get to make their own choices until they are deemed incompetent, just don't let them bring you down with the ship. A little tip if he falls...you don't want to risk further injury to him and if he is big, you don't want to injure yourself. Call 911 and explain. They will send a fire truck and EMTs in ambulance. The EMT is trained to assess injury level to figure out safest way to get him up and they can assess if he needs to be admitted to hospital. You can even request that they not use the siren. If he needs to go to hospital, you have an ambulance there and people trained to carry him safely. Once he is admitted you let the social worker know how unsafe the situation is. They will not release someone to an unsafe situation. They will try to put the burden on you, but you turn it back on them.[/quote]

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