Reply to Discovered 14 y/o son is smoking weed

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[quote=Anonymous]DS was acting unusual so I decided to do a spot check of his phone and sure enough, I discovered he has been smoking weed via cartridge a few times over the past month. We discovered he was vaping last year (8th grade) but the phase passed and he ultimately said it wasn’t worth it and said it was "stupid"

DH is furious and is taking the approach of “if you choose this life, we choose to not support you “no longer paying for private school after this year, basketball training, etc. I had a really healthy conversation with DS today and he has remorse and assures me this is not an addiction. DS has ADHD so this is going to be something he has to be very careful with.

From a parenting standpoint, we know we cannot control him but have to figure out reasonable consequences. We took his phone and we’re deciding what our next steps should. We are having ongoing discussions on the risks and trying to minimize the social influences where this occurs most often. Wondering if anyone has words of wisdom? TIA 
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