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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a great read.[/quote]

This book helped me so much with my parents-different issues. I gave up trying to have an actual real relationship and focused on being relational-just trying to be in the person's life without any expectation of a deep emotional connection. It also helped me with boundaries.= and not feeling so hurt. At times reading it I was freaked out wondering if the author knew my mother and had been watching our situation. LOL! Made me feel less alone.

Many of us struggle with parents who can't be what we want and some can cross the line into abusive behavior whether it's due to mental illness, neuro-divergence, personality issues or whatever. It's important to accept we cannot change them or force them to get help. Keep expectations low, learn to detach and stay calm, figure out your boundaries and try to find the right level of interaction where you can keep things peaceful. I used to be obsessed with empathizing with anyone in my family who treated me or others poorly and I don't think that was healthy. It can be helpful to try to understand why they are the way they are from brain wiring to multigenerational dysfunction, but I think when I had too much empathy I allowed too much poor behavior into my life and it was damaging for my kids. find the sweet spot of comfortable interaction. Figure out the safe topics and safe activities. Figure out what brings out their best behavior. Get the need for parental stuff-nurturing or whatever met elsewhere.[/quote]

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