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[quote=Anonymous]OP I posted before, but just wanted to give some more detail. Many of my friends are from immigrant families and got locked into sending money trying to ease suffering for parents and make them happy. My parents are in good shape financially and I got sucked into decreasing work hours to help mom chose care providers, find programs for dad, chose doctors, set up the house for an aide and lock valuables in safe containers, and more. I became her confidant as she emoted endlessly but refused to join a support group or reach out to friends.

My friends who provides financially and I who provided physical and emotional support all ended up in the same situation-gratitude quickly evolved into entitlement and more demands. As we set boundaries we became the bad one and they turned all that negativity on us and blamed us for their misery. Our parents remained miserable. We only eased their misery briefly because due to rigidity and cultural beliefs they refused to get themselves actual help from professionals. A friend of mine no longer speaks to the mother she financially helped for so many years.

So just preparing you. You may get some relief throwing money their way. They may be gracious and stay that way. I hope they do. I hope this makes your mom happy. Just don't be surprised if you are posting here a year or 2 from now many thousands of dollars gone and not only are your parents unhappy, but some of that unhappiness is targeted at you for not giving even more money or for deciding to no longer give.[/quote]

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