Reply to How do you identify the “good guy”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I thought I picked right. He went to the right schools, lived in a nice house, parents still together even if dysfunctional. He presented himself well, clean cut and preppy. He had a decent job upon graduation from graduate school. [b]He was kind to his parents and animals and a loyal friend.[/b]

10 years later, hes had multiple mental breakdowns [b]as he cannot apparently handle stress of adulthood[/b], has had drinking problems and cheated on me.

What did I do wrong? [/quote]
Literally only the last thing you listed has anything to do with someone being a good person.  And the second bolded indicates that you don't understand mental illness at all.  He sounds like someone whose family valued appearances and presenting the right image, despite dysfunction.  So he looked good on paper, but was perhaps under a lot of pressure to maintain appearances or realized that he didn't actually want the life he was supposed to.  And you picked him based on that resume, only to find that he was a flawed person, like everyone else, and perhaps the strain of continuing to keep up appearances was too much.  It's not your personal failure, and seems odd to frame it that way.  There's no way to look at someone and know exactly who they'll be in a decade, or how they will react to all the things that life throws at them.      [/quote]

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