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[quote=Anonymous]My mother called me fat when I WAS UNDERWEIGHT.

At 19, I escaped her controlling clutches and continual criticism by starting a new life on a different continent. I went to grad school in the USA. Only went back to Europe for short vacations but remained on good terms.

When she started calling my toddler daughter fat (as well as swearing at my husband and calling him a loser) I cut her off for 6 months. It wasn't longer only because I still wanted a relationship with my father, and those two are inseparable.

OP, you need to detach from your mother. It is WAY PAST TIME. You can scream at her, insult her, swear at her, or explain calmly that she's abusive and you're done. Specify the rules of engagement. Back away if she doesn't respect your boundaries.

Remember you don't owe her a thing when she's old and decrepit and needs your help. My mother has come around, and I will help her in her time of need, but it took a long time for her to understand that I wasn't her object to manipulate or her emotional punching bag in times of stress.

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