Reply to I love my MIL, but I really need help with this situation

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[quote=Anonymous]Another vote for sending DH with DC#1.

My kids are 2 and 4, and just this past weekend we traveled 3 hours away. They are great in the car now, but the hotel only had one room ready for us instead of 2, and #2 wouldn't nap while we were in the room. Which meant, DH or I couldn't relax and get the 4yo to sit still for a while and rest too. Which also meant, a total meltdown at 6pm because the 2yo was ready for bed (thank GOD the other room was ready by then).

The PPs who say suck it up must have older and/or easier kids.  I thing you should be honest with your MIL, that the trip will be extremely stressful for you if you all go because your #2 is so young. You're so sorry to miss it but you and DH have jointly decided that it is best for the family for DH to go with #1. (I mean, #2 won't even remember the trip!) MAKE SURE your DH is on board with this approach. It's up to you whether you want him to deliver the news; personally I have found it better to do it myself because my DH always truncates way too much 'DW doesn't want to go'.

And nothing is worse than being surrounded by family and having someone say 'ok I'll watch the 3yo while you pee' and then 2 minutes later when you return from the bathroom the 3yo is leaning off the boat dock and the relative is engaged in a lively conversation, completely clueless. Been there, it's not fun. Your MIL probably assumes that there will be lots of helping hands but you and I know this is never, ever the case. Be gracious and apologetic and it will be fine. Honestly I think sometimes the 'emotional blackmail' is all in our heads (or so I'd like to think...).  Personally I have stopped attending holiday dinners at MIL's friends' home because they refuse, when their own daughter and us both have 2 kids less than 5, to move dinnertime earlier than a 7:30pm start. I stop by with #2 and leave at 6:30; DH stays with #1 until 9 or so. It's fine aside from the line of questioning from MIL's friend (since MIL won't tell her what's up). But MIL does understand because she knows my kids. I think you'll be ok on this one.[/quote]

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