Reply to Annoyed with a friend and need to take a step back-tell her or just do it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Ok, so I’m just venting here to avoid blowing up at my friend. Here’s some examples:

-she doesn’t really respond to my messages or acknowledge the things going on in MY life. 95% of our communication is about her-her talking about her thoughts/ideas/problems, and me responding. But when I talk about my life she just responds in a limited way, if at all.

-she’s deep into the law of attraction and life coaching stuff and truly believes that our thoughts can impact our physical surroundings.

-she doesn’t work or have kids. This actually used to be fun for me-I enjoyed hearing about her crazy/interesting life, her travel, her love affairs, the amazing food she has time to eat and prepare, etc. It was kind of like escapism from me and reminded me of the chapter when we lived near each other overseas in our 20s. Over time though, it kind of depresses me when my life is so monotonous and hard and especially since she shows no interest in my life now.

-she asks me for help with things like her resume or finding a job, and I provide help (review resume/send jobs that she’s qualified for). She doesn’t take my advice, but wants to keep talking about the problem and these totally pie in the sky solutions. When I try to gently/lovingly guide her back to reality, she gets annoyed with me.

-on the rare occasions she listens to what’s going on in my life, she often points out how my negative thinking attracted the problems I’m encountering.

-I have young kids, one with severe SN, and she recommends things like diet/supplements to cure her from her incurable disabilities. She also keeps wanting to blame this horrible winter of horrible viruses on our diet. She even sends me woo/new agey kinds of books about how diet cures all illness.

Gah. See what I mean? She’s not bad intentioned but we just are not a fit for each other right now.[/quote]

OP, I absolutely understand where you're coming from -- you don't want to hurt her feelings and she's not evil or anything, just kind of selfish and not someone it's beneficial for you to communicate with right now.  I think the technology break idea is a good one.

I might be projecting here, but I think the hardest part with the friendships is that you're in a lonely place right now (young kids, SN, friends who can't use your preferred communication platform/aren't around when/how you want social interaction) and it's scary to ditch the one person who at least seems to want to talk to you even though they're not actually listening to you.  I think you'll find something better for your mental health to fill the void when you step back, be it another friend or hobby or just more positive time with your own brain.[/quote]

Op here. Thank you. You’re right. I am kind of lonely and blue which is part of why this has gone on for so long, but I think it will be better to create some space in my life by taking a step back.[/quote]

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