Reply to Bad advice / things you wish you’d known

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[quote=Anonymous]I wish I'd paid more attention to the physical aspect of all this for moms, particularly around recovery.

I really dismissed the "18 months between pregnancies is best" because that means your kids have to be 2.25 years apart MINIMUM and I was starting at 35 and wanted 3 kids. I'm not saying that I should have waited - but I should have taken some recognition of the fact that I was doing two very, very physically taxing things (pregnancies) significantly closer together than recommended, and changed my approach. Rest in my second pregnancy wasn't something to do when it seemed feasible, but rather something to prioritize, even if it meant my husband doing more with our toddler and more around the house. Same with rest after birth, and sleep.

And once it became clear after delivery #2 that I was not doing okay mentally, I wish I had realized just how interconnected the mental and physical are, and that at the end of the day, my body and myself needed immediate attention. When a mom is diagnosed with PPD, the immediate tasks are 1) therapy 2) consider medication. And I did that, though ended up not actually using medication for a variety of reasons, under the care of my therapist. In reality, as soon as a new mom has a potential case of PPD, the #1 priority should be rest. Everyone is so quick to advise you to go to therapy, which cost me almost $15k over the next year, but a night nanny is a crazy luxury. No. You've got PPD? Congrats, that's an emergency. Get that emergency fund out. Hire a night nanny. Wean to formula IF it helps you get more rest. Extend your childcare hours. Hire a cleaning person and order takeout. Sleep. Once you are getting way more rest, start adding in exercise.

Yeah, the therapy helped me get [b]through[/b] my PPD. But what helped me [b]heal[/b] from my PPD? Rest and exercise.

I wish I'd focused more on the latter than the former. [/quote]

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