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[quote=Anonymous]My younger daughter is about to have a birthday and I was walking down memory lane. I was thinking about my DD’s births. With my first, there are so many things I wish I’d realized or known. First, everyone made SUCH a big deal about skin to skin in the first hours. I lost a lot of blood and kept passing out and didn’t want to hold her. It felt like my husband was pressuring me and reminding me to do skin to skin (he says he asked me each hour in those first hours if I wanted to hold her, but I was really out of it). A nurse finally said, “it might be instinct protecting the baby - if she holds her and passes out, she could drop her.” But then, when I was ready to hold her 3-4 hrs after she was born (DH had done skin to skin) I felt like I’d already messed up or missed the chance to bond or something. I just felt so sad. Well, last night that child - who is now a tween - jumped into my lap when I got back from being out and said “I missed you!” And told me she was tired and would really like some snuggle time. She’s a really good kid and we have a great bond and I wish I hadn’t put such weight on the importance of those first hours and skin to skin.

Similarly, I wish I’d been more open to some formula / bottles sooner. I had great supply but kept worrying that would stop. With my second I mostly nursed, but used some formula as needed after about 3 months,  and it was so much easier to take a walk or nap or play with my older daughter if I needed and to nurse most the time. We ended up having a longer nursing relationship because it wasn’t an all or nothing approach and I could handle that better. A lactation consultant told me I’d destroy her gut and I was introducing problems when the doctor suggested (to help with weight gain) that I start letting her have bits of avocado at 4.5 months. I’m glad I just trusted my own gut, let her have the avocado (which she loved, and still loves to eat) and found a balance that worked for us and our family. [/quote]

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