Reply to Flaky friends - feeling lonely

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it’s on you to be the planner — in part because you’re the one who’s lonely.  Think about whether these friendships feel genuine, and, if they do, if they’re worth the effort.  Also think about what the impact of your own priorities has been on the patterns in these friendships.  It sounds like you spent quite a few years when you didn’t have “bandwidth “ to nurture these friendships— and now you do.  And that’s great! Meanwhile, though, your friends learned to accommodate your lack of bandwidth, and, of course, have their own competing priorities.  No one’s reaching out to you first — and I get that it’s hurtful. But, be honest, were you really available to them in the way that you’d like them to be available to you — now that you have time?  I would go with recognizing that everyone has a lot on their plates right now. Since you have the time and desire to socialize, enjoy being the cruise director for a bit  as long as you genuinely enjoy the interactions once they actually happen.

Doing this doesn’t stop you from also widening your circle of friends. I hope things work out well for you, OP!

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