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[quote=Anonymous]Love any insights here from folks who have faced this with their parents"

DH's parents have been living in their one-story home for the last few years after downsizing from where they had lived for 40 years. There is a finished basement with bed/bath  and a family room at their newish place, but they do not use it to minimize time on steps. FiL is deteriorating cognitively and has some mobility issues as well as occasional continence problems. MiL, who is a bit overweight, is firing on all four cylinders, driving, etc. The weight affects her mobility to some extent, but she works hard to keep moving.

The one change they've made is having 40 hour help during the week day and are starting to think about it for the weekends in order that MiL can keep up with her activities, etc. I think their LT care covers this kind of expense, but not sure if it is bottomless, etc.

I'm starting to wonder what the next steps here might be, especially as their funds are not endless. They've spent a lot in retirement and appears to be more than what may now be needed for the next phase of living. If she decides that she wants to continue to live at home while he moves into a memory care unit, can they swing it? The challenge seems to be that they planned to live together in a continuing care community, but IDK if a community will allow him to live with her in an apartment if he may been as a flight risk (he really isn't based on my experience with those who are over the last 20 years). IDK if she will want to live in one of these apartments, especially if he requires a 24-hour caregiver. And from what I can tell, MiL is now realizing that they may not have the money to pay for two different units in one of these communities.

Does it make more sense for them to remain in their home as long as possible (paid in cash), maybe preparing for a 24-hour caregiver in their basement? For him to move somewhere when it is time if she wants to remain at home?

How does one figure this out? Grateful for any insights here.[/quote]

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