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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I took off 16 weeks with my first and it was a disaster. I had a hard vaginal birth, tough baby, and was still incontinent with a raging case of PPD when I went back and needed lots of time off for PPD therapy, pelvic floor PT, and baby being constantly ill from daycare (basically every 2-3 weeks it was roseola, flu. Bronchiolitis, hand foot and mouth, RSV, ear infections, etc). If I wrote a book about that return to work, I would call it: “Crying in the pumping room.”

My second I took ALL the leave: 24 weeks which is the max I could take. It was so worth it to me. I had so much more time with my baby, versus the 16 weeks which felt way too short. I also felt physically much better despite a hard birth the second time around, and we hired a nanny instead of doing group care which lessened the illnesses and made me feel much better about going back. Baby was also older and I got to experience much more of the fun times: they start smiling around 3 months and Il4-6 months is when their personalities really start coming out and they are fun to be with and not just a crying and pooping ball of need.

Everyone is different but after my experience I would always tell anyone that you should take the maximum amount of leave you are entitled to. Only in this nutty country do we have such crappy maternity leave, and we serve no one by taking less than what we deserve and have earned. One thing I was also not really prepared for was how much my priorities shifted when I had kids. I was a perfectionist workaholic before and after kids, I just changed. It was sort of like adolescence for me - I morphed into a new person. There’s a term for it, called matrescence, and literally your brain changes after you have a baby. I was not prepared for that. I share that to illustrate the reality that what you think you want now as an expectant mom may evolve totally once you are a real life mom with a baby in your arms, and that’s very normal. [/quote]

+1 everyone is so different so it is impossible to know, but for me I took 4 months with my first which was ok but I was a mess going back (baby went to daycare not home with husband or anything which is more common now even a few years later and I do think makes it wayy easier) but with my second I took as much leave as possible. If you can take six months comfortably I don’t think you would regret it. But some people really are fine going back! Though it’s incredibly hard to predict. I had hard postpartums, two full term babies with NICU stays, horrible feeding issues. I needed the time. My friends with uncomplicated births and ok feeding, they did ok going back especially if it wasn’t a daycare transition. But yeah personally, you’ll only get the opportunity to spend tbis focused time at home 2-3 times for most people. It’s worth it to take. [/quote]

I should add I took unpaid leave for both of these and it was always worth it. Especially since you said it wouldn’t be a big hit.[/quote]

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