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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m gay. One of my sisters is a lesbian. Our other siblings (we have a large family) are all straight. On one hand I say don’t feel ashamed. On the other hand this is your legitimate feeling and I don’t want to dismiss this, but this has nothing to do with your kids. You need to see a therapist as to why you feel this way and work through it.  And obviously never share this with them. [/quote]

+100 to this.  It's the answer.  Therapy.  OP sounds like she's in the "I'm fine with gay people as long as they're not my kids" camp.  This is homophobia.

I'm assuming OP is gen X like me.  It takes time to let go of the shame.  Therapy helps.  I needed it for myself.  We grew up in a time where the height of gay acceptance (and apparently "comedy") was talking about gay people on Seinfeld and following up with "not that there's anything wrong with that.   
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHOTnC_KbSc[/youtube]

We grew up in a time where Ellen was cancelled because she came out as a lesbian.
https://www.thepinknews.com/2016/11/28/this-is-how-ellens-show-got-cancelled/

We grew up in a culture where "the bad guy" in a movie is either caught at the end of a movie or killed by the police in a violent shoot out.  Unless they're a trans woman.  In that case, the "bad girl" (in this case) is humiliated, stripped down to her underwear (basically sexuality assaulted), and people puke because they kissed her.  This was the height of comedy in the 90's.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCwjyTg5p2g[/youtube]

[b]This is why so many in gen X feel shame and embarrassment about being queer[/b], knowing queer people, or having queer kids.  You were socialized into this environment.  It was systemic homophobia that was embedded in our daily lives.[/quote]

OP said she was ashamed of her feelings, not ashamed of her kids.  There's a good chance a lot of this is disappoint in knowing that her chances of having biological grandchildren are now much lower.  That's disappointment, not shame. [/quote]

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