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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Junior in HS and we're starting to think about what's next. Absolutely no idea where to start with college for a 2E kid with severe ADHD and anxiety, who barely functions at school. She struggles with attendance, self-managing, interacting / eye contact with adults. At an age at which her peers are in the process of becoming adults, that will be even harder to manage.

So what does college look like for kids like this? She somehow manages to get decent grades (far from stellar) simply by showing up. She learns quickly but struggles with long projects and keeping a routine. She is definitely a dopamine junkie and can spend days on netflix if she had a chance. Side benefit is an incredibly rich and varied collection of playlists on Spotify that I like well enough to mooch on for my own account.

How does a kid like this even entertain college? And if it turns out not to be her path, what are some resources I can read on to help a kid with ADHD to transition into adulthood: a job, responsibilities, living independently, finding a good set of quality friends when all hers are away and the kids who stayed back (in our privileged community) are either troublemakers, or similarly struggling, or both...

There are so many resources for getting your kid into college but I cannot find anything for college with SN, or for no college...[/quote]

So it sounds like she definitely has the aptitude to be successful in college if that is what she wants, but she will need many supports. I assume you plan to have her live at home? Unless things change a lot in the next year, definitely have her at home where you monitor her coping and gradually work toward more independence. I would come up with some goals to work on through highschool to prepare her and then it may be when the time comes she needs to live at home while maybe dipping her toes in the college waters maybe with some community college courses and working with a therapist to manage the anxiety and further skills of independence. She may not be ready for full time.

You ask about job skills if she has a job and takes a class or 2. Talk to the IEP team about what they offer. It may be worth an extra year of highschool to get more comfortable with AP classes and learn job skills or try more electives that focus on various jobs that may be of interest.

Not sure about community college, but a lot of regular college classes don't have so much busywork. You do have to stay on top of things, but if she is a quick study that helps. Maybe start with a class or 2 to build a sense of confidence.

Meanwhile maybe identify some college readiness skills she needs to work on and see how her IEP can fit into this and figure out what services you can afford to pay for (e.g. executive functioning coach). I would say therapy is something high on the list for expenses so she can learn to manage the anxiety which will increase with any transitions. Is she receptive to that? Is she on medication?

Does she have friends? Is she happy with those friendships? Did she form them on her own? Can she make new friends in situations where she doesn't know people? I ask that last question because my neighbor, who's son dropped out of college, said one mistake she made was social engineering. He played the right sport and she was a social butterfly and made sure to do everything possible to make him well-liked. Plus, he had a popular older brother. He never had to make an effort. For camp she always sent him off with a good friend. He didn't have to make friends on his own and she said she wished instead of working it with the parents, and being the house with the best stuff and food, she focused more on making sure he was applying social skills. In college he didn't make friends and he did nothing to keep up with his old friends. He didn't respond to texts. He didn't reach out to his best friend who had knee surgery even when that friend reached out to him to say recovery was slow and tough. He didn't try to see them when in town. She would organize things rather than coaching him to do the work. If social is an issue that should be a number 1 priority. In order to cope with independent living you need to be able to make and keep friends.

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