Reply to 4yo overnight screaming and early waking. We're so tired!

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "4yo overnight screaming and early waking. We're so tired!"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Different issues, but I found it VERY helpful to accept that you cannot force a child to go to sleep or stay asleep. But you can create reasonable boundaries around safety and your own sleep. Here are the rules around sleep in our house:

-- DD's "sleep time" is 8pm to 6am. This is the time for her to sleep. DH and I go to bed at 10pm and get up between 6 and 6:30am. This is the time in our house designated for rest.

-- DD can get out of bed to use the bathroom or get a drink of water during these times, no questions asked. If she needs help with either of these, she can let us know and we will help. But she is capable of doing both on her own and we encourage her to do so.

-- If she has a bad dream or is having trouble sleeping on her own because she's scare for upset, she can come to our bed to sleep. But she must lie down and close her eyes, not bouncing, talking, or constant wiggling. If she can't do that, we will walk her back to her room, stay with her for a bit until she feels safe, and then go back to bed.

-- If she cannot go to sleep, she can look at books in bed. But she must stay in her bed and the only light that can be on is her bedside lamp. If we see her overhead light on or discover she is out of bed, we will turn it off and come walk her back to bed.

-- If she wakes up before 6am, she may look at books or play in her room. In addition to books, she has a Tonie box (she must keep the volume down), a doll house, and a few other quiet toys. No waking us up unless there is a problem, which means she's upset, sick, or needs bathroom help. Being hungry when she wakes up early is not a problem -- breakfast will be served at 6am and it's okay to feel hungry sometimes. It's a good reminder to eat a proper dinner.

Did she acclimate to these rules instantly? No. But we kept reinforcing. The rules ensure that if she needs us, we are there for her. It also allows her to make some of her own choices in a controlled way. If she doesn't want to sleep, she can do other things, but not in a way that disrupts our sleep. Having this control over her own sleep choices has ultimately led to her becoming a very good sleeper -- she goes to sleep by 8:30 most nights, 9pm at the latest. After months of waking up at 4 or 5, she started sleeping until 6 and now it is not uncommon for us to have to go get her out of bed at 6:30 for breakfast. We often find her "reading" a memorized book to a baby in her bed with just the lamp on.

I've found that good boundaries, calm reinforcement, and not trying to control every single thing your child does is a good way to approach challenges with sleep, food, bathing, etc.[/quote]

Thank you! Radical acceptance definitely seems like a piece of this. How did you calmly reinforce when she pushed back? It escalates so quickly into a power struggle over here.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics