Reply to Dinners have gone to hell - give me all the ideas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve tried the basic ones like reward charts and they work for a couple nights then it gets awful again.  Our dinners are really ruining the end to almost every single day

I have 1/3/5yo boys and am typically on my own with them for dinner.  Everyone has had snacks earlier so no one should be hangry.  What generally happens is:
- 1.5yo gets to clingy part of day and wants to be held or starts getting destructive. 3 and 5yo watch a show
- [b]I plate 1.5yos dinner first[/b] to get him in his highchair and both hands free. Put him in highchair while I get others plates and milk ready
- they generally come over ok, but then one will start bugging the other (typically the very loud 3yo being too loud for my tired 5yo). Annoyed kid starts to deteriorate while annoying kid ramps up annoying
- both kids say they don’t want the dinner and at least one leaves the table. I make clear there is not other food
- I’m up and down fetching things they’re asking for (more cheese on pasta, new fork because it got dropped etc)
- baby is done eating and fussing and wants up so I get him cleaned up. His running off to play gets other kids up again
- typically one child stays at table sad I’m not sitting with them, one child eats a bite and throws a fit that they’re hungry later (standing rule is only option later is banana), im frustrated and snapping, and no one enjoyed a single second of our time together

It used to help when i could calmly sit at the table and lead the convo (read a book, so mad libs etc to keep their attention, keep them at the table, and keep them quiet - the baby is too active and impatient for me to do that now)

I feel like it’s a mess on every front, their manners, all of our moods, my ability to give them a calm dinner time when I’m up and down, their pickiness, my ability to physically enforce things like coming back to the table when I’m so outnumber etc

Whenever one of them has dinner on their own, they’re calm and well mannered on focus on the meal.

Help with all the ideas (and none of the snark) please!
[/quote]

I would stop doing this.  Yes, put him in highchair, but instead of giving him his food, give him some toys to keep busy while you get the food finished up and plated.  The baby is finishing eating too quickly and adding to the dinner dumpster fire. Otherwise, my only other suggestion is to anticipate what everyone will need and have it on the table.  Not always successful/possible, I know, but this is what I would try.  I find when I'm sitting at the table and not getting up constantly and distracted, I can nip the naughty behavior immediately.  [/quote]

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