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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can’t make them move out or get help. But you can do things to make your life easier once disaster strikes.

Make sure they have Wills, advance medical directive, etc. Meet with an an attorney that understands Medicaid in their state if you think they might need it in the future. Government does a 5 year look back and you don’t want to do something that affects Medicaid funding.

Make sure that your mom isn’t the person listed to legally make decisions for your Dad. Her dementia will only get worse and you want to be the one who makes decisions if he becomes incapacitated.

Make sure you have a list of their doctors and contact information. And have your parents sign a consent form that allows the doctors to speak to you. You will have to do this for each doctor.

Make sure you have all their bank account and credit card information and have you put on as an authorized person.

Do some visits to facilities near you in case they suddenly need to be moved into a place.

Good luck, it’s tough when parents don’t realize they are aging and don’t have to ability to make good risk calculations. [/quote]

Absolutely all of this -- you have to have these documents ASAP, especially the power of attorney. Make sure they have each other and preferably also you or a sibling if you have one listed as co-owners or survivors on bank accounts, investment accounts, safe deposit boxes, etc. Stuff gets frozen when wills go into probate. If your dad is the one who has always handled the financials, there's a good chance it's only his name on these accounts, and that if he dies before your mom she will be in difficult straits that she's not equipped for.

It would be well worth the time and expense if you or a sibling can swing both to make appointments with an estate planning/elder care attorney and go with them in person to make sure all these documents get done.[/quote]

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