Reply to Is there any coming back from lack of spark?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don’t reveal your gender and that shouldn’t matter but I kind of think it does. Statements like your partner made are like a brick wall that they build around you, you don’t do it for me anymore and no matter how I have tried to convince myself otherwise you still don’t do it for me anymore so stay in this box while I move on with my life.

If your wife has made the declaration that the spark is gone I think there’s a 90% chance that she stopped being in love with you about three years ago and I don’t think there is coming back from that. You could 20x your net worth and get matching flanks of visible serratus muscles and it wont do a thing.

Now if your husband has told you this then there are lots of things you can do to get his interest back but chances are he’s got his eyes on a future without you and unless done very carefully the improvements you make will come off desperate and be more repelling.

Saying the spark is gone is the polite way of saying I don’t find you attractive at all and I’m done. You mentioned that lots has happened over the course of the past few years and if that’s because the lack of spark lead to some infidelity the resentment will be difficult to overcome.

It’s an awful situation and I’m sorry.   [/quote]

I agree with all of this and wish you the best, OP. Do you work? If not, might explore getting yourself back into the workforce. Also, build up your own support network. By the time my ex DH said this to me, he had moved on and was having affairs, he had also started shifting $. I really wanted to work on things and could have written your post, but was not given that option in more than lip service. We went on a few dates and did counseling but he had already mentally moved on and when the AP was disclosed, I was even more blind sided because of the deflection.

In case you need it, this was helpful to me. https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/[/quote]

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