Reply to Has anyone successfully changed the dynamic with stifling ILs?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for the responses. DH is great about addressing things in the moment: “No, it’s fine for Caroline to go ride bikes with her friends; you’ll have plenty of time with her tonight and tomorrow.” “Yes, Jessica is going into the office today—I told you before we made plans for this visit that she can’t take off a lot of time.” “Mom, we’re all beat—we’re turning in early tonight.”

But if other posters think an official come to Jesus is for the best, I guess we’d rather try that than just shut them out.[/quote]

It’s good that your DH is proactive in the moment but since the behavior is clearly continuing and leading everyone to dread visits, agree that more of a come to Jesus chat is needed. Next time they suggest a visit your DH should say something along the lines of “Mom/Dad, we’d love to see you but our schedules are pretty busy and honestly the last visit was a little stressful for everyone with the constant guilt trips whenever the kids/wife had other things planned. We can definitely commit to doing x and y together for your visit, but need you to understand that we can’t all fully clear our schedules. If that’s going to be an issue it might be better to postpone.”[/quote]

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