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[quote=Anonymous]My husband and I are both 40 and have been married for 15 years.  We have two young kids.  We both work-full time and are very successful at our jobs.  We have a lot of qualities that make us good friends and are drama-free.  Despite this, both of us have struggled to make friends during our entire marriage.

The issue is that my husband has no friends at all and I have one friend and a few acquaintances.  Now granted my husband puts very little time and effort into making new friends, but he has been at the same job for 15 years and is well-liked, but has zero co-worker friends.  He is very respected professionally at his job but has failed miserably trying to make friends.  In fact he often experiences co-workers purposely excluding him, inviting everyone in the office to events/parties except him, and inviting each other out in front of him and excluding him.

I have also failed miserably in trying to make friends.  I have been trying to make friends for over a decade, and when my kids were little I joined lots of moms groups.  As they aged out of mom groups/playgroups I tried to make friends at preschool and through their activities.  I made some acquaintances at preschool but no real friends.  I never really had a "mom group."  When they started elementary school I volunteered at school, was the room parent, and tried to meet other moms.  I always felt like I never fit in. Now my kids are in 3rd and 4th grades and I still don't really have any mom friends.

Then we tried to make friends outside of kids' school/activities/work.  My husband has played on a mens' rec sports league for 10 years and has made zero friends that way.  I took lots of yoga and knitting classes and even started a neighborhood book club.  I never met anyone who wanted to be my friend that way.

We have no couple friends and no family friends.  No one ever invites us to do anything.  The last time we were invited to do anything as a family with another family was probably 4 years ago.  We receive very few holiday cards (though we send many) and no one has ever invited us to any kind of party.

We are not from here but we've lived here for over a decade already.

Why do both my husband and I have such difficulty connecting with others?  What are we doing wrong and how can we start making friends?  We are not socially awkward, are good listeners.  We both had lots of friends in college and grad school but it's been a challenge since then.[/quote]

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