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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s pretty crappy for a guy to make comments about his wife’s weight when she carried his children.  Just saying.  [/quote]

It's pretty crappy to incresae your weight by 40% or to completely dismiss what your partner likes and wants. Think of something you want in a partner, then imagine your partner condemned you for wanting it, now see how you feel. I applaud OP for at least taking this seriously.

Here's an idea: [b]stop working out and just focus on cutting calories[/b], since working out doesn't help with weight loss but actually makes it more challenging because it increases your appetite. After you lose some weight, you can gradually introduce the exercise in a controlled way so you can calibrate how to change your calories.

You also don't necessarily haven't count calories; you need to change habits to enable you to eat less. There are so many techniques that help many people without having to count calories or macros and without having to eat gross food. Do not eat while watching tv. Do not eat directly from a container (like, no crackers straight from the box); only take the portion you want. No snacking after dinner.  Minimize food with added sugar. Cut out the second helping of dinner.  [/quote]
That's a bad idea.  It's important to stay physically active at every weight, and if you have a workout habit in terms of day/time that works for you, I wouldn't risk breaking that habit.

Some of your other suggestions are reasonable: I don't count calories or weigh my food, but I also don't eat after dinner, I don't eat while reading or watching TV (which leads to mindless eating), and I eat dinner off a salad plate (which makes your plate look full while keeping portion sizes reasonable).  Eat more fruits, vegetables, legumes, and fiber-rich foods.  Swap white rice and pasta for whole grain.  All those are good things.  But trying to lose weight solely for someone else, or out of fear that someone will reject you if you weigh too much, seems like an unhealthy motivation.  If you need to lose weight, why not do it for your spouse because you want to have a long and active life together?  [/quote]

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