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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where to start?

First, nothing in your post indicates elitism.  Nothing.

Second, "My DH complained to his parents" - really?  No wonder she had a bad reaction, when a grown-up acts like a high schooler.

Third, in addition to how it was presented, your complaint is out of line.  You expect your inlaws to not go to social events, not see friends, when you are in town for an extended time?  That's selfish, and unreasonable, especially when you aren't (apparently) that close to begin with.

Fourth, you admit that you really go to see your MIL and FIL, but expect them to clear their calendar?

So to recap, you had your MIL shame them into hosting you at their house, and your SIL was cranky about it, and acted put upon.  There's a good reason for that.  One of the definitions of "put upon" is "expected or asked to do too much" - you basically invited yourself to their house over the holidays, and they had to cancel engagements they were looking forward to as a result.  They *were* put upon.  [/quote]

This is the most absurd take on the OP I think I have read today.

It's the holidays. When you come in to visit family, you generally expect to. . . . wait for it . . . visit with family. Especially when they are refusing to come to you.

Your inlaws aren't elitist but they are a bunch of a-holes. Why are you visiting these people again? I suggest no holiday visit next time. Go some other time, get a place on the beach and treat it as a vacation. We'll be in town (or nearby town), hope to see you when we are there. Then leave it to them. Holidays, enjoy your time at home. You'll be happier.

And frankly, when they ask why you're not coming next years, tell them: it's expensive and we felt in the way last year. So we're going to be spending Christmas home this year. Sometimes a dose of frankness is needed and it seems to be the case here. And I wouldn't feel even a little bad about it.[/quote]

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