Reply to And then the day comes: Long term partner

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[quote=Anonymous]My FIL, 89, has been in a committed long term relationship with a woman his age for close to twenty years. They have kept their finances separate and maintain separate homes in the same town, splitting between both, although recently FIL has been staying primarily at her place and going to his place every day as if it’s an office. They have had an active life together: travel, book clubs, concerts, visits and holidays with children from both families.  She additionally is a dedicated musician, has been deeply involved as a board member in a local organization. They are both quite cerebral and opinionated, and all the children agree that they have been really good for each other over the years. Her health has been generally good for her 85+ age, and FIL nursed her through hip and knee replacements. He has prostate cancer (under treatment) and finally got hearing aids.

Well a week ago FIL slipped on some ice and badly broke his arm, landing in the hospital. DH flew across the country to be with his father. FIL fully expects to go back to her home, where they’ve primarily been living, when he’s released, but his partner has told my husband that she doesn’ t want him to return there; she wants him to convalesce at his place. When pressed, she said their relationship is based on a certain amount of distance and independence between them and she doesn’t want that to change. I get it, they’re not married, but I’m kind of gobsmacked. If roles were reversed I am sure he would be there for her.

Has anyone been in a similar situation?  How did it play out? They live in a smallish city out West. It’s not the boonies, but it’s also not DC, and neither has children who live locally. [/quote]

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