Reply to what to do with teen/young adult who won't grow up

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The only friend she has is the boyfriend. She's always been a loaner and always had just one friend at a time when she has friends. One of my problems is a lack of leverage other than a place to live and I'm not ready to kick her out onto the street just yet. I may get there but I'm not there yet.

When we told her we wouldn't pay for her cell phone anymore, she and her boyfriend got their own plan that he pays for. When we stopped buying her clothes, he started buying her clothes. If we don't put gas in the car, he does. Though she is losing the keys to the car if she's not working and not in school. That won't really impact her though as she only goes to school and places with her boyfriend. It's not like she wants to run around with girlfriends like her sister. I would have a ton of leverage over dd#2 in a situation like this.

While I like her boyfriend, I need him to go away for a year and leave her on her own. She hasn't had to do without because we won't pay for things because he's always there to fix it.[/quote]

Does she have undiagnosed autism?  I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that she has some issues that should have been addressed when she was younger but were not.

If you kick her out and make her homeless, be aware that there's a high probability she'll be addicted to drugs eventually and will probably end up in sex work.  An 18 year old woman living on the streets is almost certain to become a sex worker.  Assuming she survives and becomes a functional adult, she's almost certainly never going to want anything to do with you when she's older if you do this.  [/quote]

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