Reply to Parenting Course for Emotional Toddler - and any thoughts on preferential parenting

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Reply to "Parenting Course for Emotional Toddler - and any thoughts on preferential parenting"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I think the preference and the discipline are separate issues. They’re probably not related. Kids go through preference periods even when the parents discipline the same.

Idk what you’re trying now but when my kid was 22m there really wasn’t any “discipline” except redirection and removal from whatever the bad behavior was. If you’re asking your 22 to respect a “stern voice” you may just be expecting too much developmentally, which could lead to frustration for both of you. If a 22 month old is drawing on the table, imo a “stern voice” is not effective. You have to calmly, without betraying that you’re upset about it, redirect (physically) to paper and/or take the crayon away calmly. A “stern voice” in that situation is just attention that reinforces the behavior.

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This is helpful - thank you! I hadn't even realized that... [/quote]

OP I agree with the poster above, there isn't much "discipline" with a 22 month old, more learning to hold boundaries which I think is what you're trying to say your husband probably struggles with since his parents didn't really hold boundaries. Doing a course together sounds like a great idea. When my first was that age the instagram parenting thing hadn't taken off so we read a book together. We read No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury which I recommend too, maybe while also doing a course. it's short and helpful for this age.

Your toddler sounds normal to me if that helps, but impossible to know. And some kids are more intense even when it's still normal. My youngest is 20 months and we aren't dealing with too much preference, but he definitely is very happy to very very upset quite often :) The other night he had a writhing mega meltdown for reasons unknown for example. I'm just sharing to say you're not alone! And it's good to feel like you have tools so you're thinking of the right thing. I also can understand how frustrating the preference thing must be. I would say that it's likely more a result of your son craving more time with dad than anything else. One it's normal for kids to go through that (though hard) and two, it's not uncommon when one parent does the bulk of the work for the other to get idealized a big. Usually that's when older but with a kid your son's age I think it's probably more "I miss daddy I want daddy when mommy is here it means daddy isn't" feelings.

I think either Big Little Feelings or Becky's course are both going to be fine. I have the big little feelings course (though ended up not watching all the videos because it ended up being repetitive to books I'd read pre-instagram parenting era!) and I've skimmed Becky's book (I probably read too many parenting things..). THey will both teach you what is developmentally appropriate for young kids, how to validate their feelings and also hold boundaries. So, I would go with the one that you relate to more. [/quote]

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