Reply to Parenting Course for Emotional Toddler - and any thoughts on preferential parenting

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[quote=Anonymous]I never thought I'd be this person and I'd really appreciate feedback from people who have perhaps heard feedback on or done these courses themselves, not people that are going to shame me for trying one... I am interested in participating in an online parenting course, along with my husband. I've heard good things about Big Little feelings and Dr. Becky. I follow both their instagrams as well...

We have a 22 month old and we're having a really hard time with him. I know this is normal at this age, but for me, it helps to be over-informed and try and create somewhat of a "plan" instead of flailing, which is kinda what is happening now. DH works biglaw and is extremely busy, he grew up in a family where there was no discipline. He experienced consequence for the first time when he got kicked out of college at 20 after "three strikes," and then turned his life around at that point - entirely on his own. My parents disciplined me appropriately, and while they were strict, they were not abusive and I appreciate their approach in retrospect.

He is showing extreme preferential treatment to my husband (who like I mentioned is very rarely around). Over Christmas and more time at home the last couple of weeks with the three of us, he has grown attached to my husband to the point of hitting and kicking when I come close to him. While it was just kind of a casual preference over the last few months, it's really grown to a fever pitch and neither of us know what to do. We don't have tempers with our child, nor do we get mad, but it's just sad and hard for me to experience this from my son when I've really been the one that's done 90% of the parenting these last couple of years.

My husband has no model for discipline, and is nothing like his parents, but wants to do a course together. I agree this would be helpful to us, if anything, so we can get on the same page and make a plan. Currently, I am the one who disciplines "more" but when my husband and I disagree on something like a stern voice vs no stern voice, it continues to make me look like the bad guy and my son rejects me even more in favor of DH.

Would also love to hear feedback on anything who's experienced major preferential treatment within their family (particularly being the rejected parent...) and how you dealt with that emotionally. I keep telling myself he's a toddler, but it's been months, and it's just exhausting. I remain very positive and patient with him, it's just clear he prefers "dada". I have wondered if he feels anxiety that DH is going to leave at any moment and seeing me around means DH is going away, and that scares him or something, but it's gotten to the point that he screams and cries and won't even let me pick him up out of his crib, only wants DH to do it.

I think if DH and I make a plan on things and have one common course as our guide, that would be helpful, but it just feels like we have no idea what to do and it's just total mayhem... I also wonder if my toddler may just be very emotional. He's always shown a lot of emotional highs and lows - VERY happy or VERY grumpy, sometimes in between, but rarely. If I'm being honest, I can be a little like that, too.

Any advice on any of the above appreciated....[/quote]

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