Reply to Who should help take care of MIL? A very complicated family dynamic.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]
Um, can you clarify how your husband helps, directly? Can you clarify how you help, directly? Because unless I missed something, your husband does literally nothing to help, and neither do you, so he has absolutely no leg to stand on in thinking SIL2 should "step in and help" when he himself doesn't lift a damn finger, and neither do you.[/quote]

OP here -

He did, on and off for about 10 years. He lived at home occasionally  to help before I met him and while my MIL only had episodes every now and then (maybe once a month or so), he would be there to hold MIL's hand and take her to the hospital. He helped significantly with bills and paid rent while my FIL went down from two incomes to once. Before SIL1 moved in, my husband would go over if my FIL was out of town and he would check on MIL and bring her food. He doesn't anymore since BIL1 and SIL1 has moved in.

I would like to help. But I have a small child and am alone myself when my husband is gone - I don't have any local siblings and one of my parents is deceased, the other is disabled and lives with their spouse. I can help with finding resources for caregiving or discussing, finding an estate planner or applying for benefits. I can't really help with any hands on caregiving, I have no one who could watch my son when my husband is gone.[/quote]

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