Reply to Today’s young adults want apologies from their parents; parents want a thank you

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[quote=Anonymous]I've heard people say that they resented their parents until they had kids, and then they realized how well their parents did because they realized how hard parenting is and they appreciated some of the stuff their parents did once they understand the context of what it means to be a parent. So maybe some of these very young kids will feel more grateful later.

However, this was not my experience. Having kids actually made me realize that my parents were much worse than I had allowed myself to believe before, and that my family was deeply dysfunctional. There are a lot of things I give my kid easily and happily that I never had as a child, because my parents were very emotionally immature and had no idea how to provide it. Stuff like a calm and loving home environment or  the ability to listen to her talk about her life without criticizing/sarcasm/impatience/resentment.

I don't expect an apology but I definitely don't find myself getting more grateful as I get older and experience more parenting myself. Instead I've had to go into therapy to work through some of the memories from childhood that have come up as I parent, so that I can continue to be the best parent I can despite not having had much good parenting modeled for me.[/quote]

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