Reply to Can I expect brother to shoulder more of the financial burden when and if our mom needs help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our mother is a very difficult person who’s always overtly preferred my brother and provided much more support to him than she gave me.  We have different dads (she’s divorced from both).

Mom paid for brother to go to private school, paid for his undergrad education, and has enabled him to live at home since graduating in 2019 (he’s 26 now).  She gave him a car, pays for insurance etc.  He doesn’t even pay his cell phone bill.  He is looking to purchase a condo and refuses to move out to rent - which our mom (and his dad) enable.  Fine.

I went to public school and moved out when I was 18 and was entirely financially independent from that age.  I always worked at least part-time while going to school, which I took out student loans for.  It took me years to finish undergrad (finally finished when I was in my late twenties).  When I left my abusive exH with two kids mom provided no support/help - which of course she wasn’t obligated to do, but which stung when I saw how she coddled my brother.

I make okay money - and my now husband makes very good money - but I think my brother should carry more of the burden to support our mom’s future needs, given the tremendous financial and logistical support he’s been provided.  Is this a fair and reasonable expectation?  Is this a conversation I should start with him now?[/quote]

It seems odd that you are upset about a hypothetical.

But the bean counting is odder.

Do you have a therapist who can help you correct your thinking? This just isn’t normal. [/quote]

I agree that providing children with wildly different levels of support is abnormal.

I disagree that this is hypothetical - generally, aging people eventually need some level of support in their later years.[/quote]

I am saying her fixation and bean counting is not normal. Or healthy.

And she is worrying about a hypothetical. Or at least something that hasn’t happened yet. There’s no indication at all that their mother is destitute or may become destitute. This is about her wanting something else to be angry about. Again, not normal.

What is the age distance between the siblings?[/quote]

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