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[quote=Anonymous]She never remembers, or deliberately “forgets”, key pieces of information related to me. Two things happened over the holiday that made this lightbulb go off in my head.

First off, let me preface by saying MIL will remember obscure things about random people, her friend’s children, etc. I’ve been with DH for over two decades.

At the holidays, I love a specific drink and always provide it if we are hosting, or bring it to share if others are hosting. It’s a signature thing. Every year my MIL acts like it’s the first time she’s tried it and it’s a novelty. It got me to thinking about how my grandfather used to make a separate bowl of a special side dish he served every just for my mom because she wasn’t fond of one of the ingredients but liked the dish otherwise. She said it was one of her fondest memories of her and the act touched her heart. And here my own MIL can’t even remember my simply *liking* a drink that she also drinks every year, and that I provide annually.

Another, during high school and breaks in college, I had a really unique job. When I met DH in college it was always a talking point when making small talk in college. It was a big part of my identity for many years, even part-time after I graduated and around the time DH and I got engaged. So it surprised me when MIL started talking about how one of her friend’s children had gotten the exact same job. She had no recollection that I had ever had the same job. Or, at least pretended she didn’t.

She forgets all sorts of things about me, but remembers the most random things about pretty much everyone else. I’m sure she just doesn’t care, and that’s fine. But man, it’s almost as though she delights in gaslighting or something with me. I just can’t figure it out. Is there any other reason a person with otherwise fine memory would remember absolutely nothing about her DIL?[/quote]

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