Reply to It’s hard to be the best parent I can be when I wasn’t always treated well

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, try congratulating yourself every time you do hold back. Remind yourself you are doing so much better as a parent for your kids despite the lack of role models. Try doing something nice for yourself when you notice it’s hard to be the parent you want to be- in those times, it’s probably stressful at work or in other ways. So it’s a sign that you need to take it easy if parenting gets tougher. Go for a walk, have a bath, read a book, order take out instead. Come back when you are more relaxed. Do you have a spouse? Ask for support and a hug when you are feeling it’s more challenging to parent. Basically, make sure your emotional needs, which weren’t attended to by your parents, are being met by yourself, or someone else like your spouse. It will be easier to parent when your needs are met.

I had harsh, critical parents who used shame, guilt, and anger to parent us. They were also neglectful and not interested in our lives, beyond providing food and shelter. I have to make a huge effort not to be critical. Some days I succeed and others not so good. But overall, I know I’m doing a better job at parenting than what I received.  Best wishes OP.[/quote]

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