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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son is in first grade, we have been at this school for 2 years.  When we started at this school we didn't know any other families there.

In the entire two years we've been at this private school, we have received zero playdate invitations (but several birthday party invitations).  I have hosted many playdates at our house last year and this year and invited many parents to meet up at parks, etc.  I even planned an informal all-class meetup and half the class attended.

My son has 5 friends in his class but it seems they will only be school friends because none of the other parents seem interested in setting up playdates.  They will happily drop off their child at our house if we set up a playdate but there has been no reciprocation and no one has invited us to do anything.  I know these other kids really like my kid because their moms will tell me how excited the kid is to be coming over for a playdate, etc. but I am perplexed why we have not been invited to do anything in the two years we've been at the school.

I also went to private school when I was growing up, and every weekend I was at a classmate's house or they were at my house.  There was always reciprocation, even though we all lived at least 30 minutes away from each other.  My mother always said how important reciprocation was: if they invite you, you invite them.

This is giving me a really negative feeling about my son's school experience and I feel like we will never be accepted there.  I know from social media that others in the class are having playdates and no one invites us, and I know that some families are going on vacation together (they post photos on social media).  I feel like for some reason we don't fit in.  I guess at this point I wonder if this is the right school for us or not.[/quote]

Sorry you are experiencing this! The silver lining is that your fantastic organization of play dates is, apparently, well received. So at least the play dates do occur, albeit without reciprocity. I have a similar experience with my DD -- always planning the play dates and really never receiving such invitations. In your case though, the distinct difference is your awareness that these families do indeed organize play dates and spend time together, they simply do not extend an invitation for your family to join. That is the part that would be particularly hurtful for me, considering all the effort you appear to put forth. I totally sympathize, and unfortunately, I cannot think of any helpful suggestions since there nothing than can be done on your part to change their behavior on this issue. Two years is a long time at the school for no improvement.

The only thing I can conjure up as potentially helpful advice is to note that your child's young age makes parental involvement heavy and mandatory. Due to this, the parents may be relying on their pre-existing relationships to determine their play date invitations (as it may intertwine with their personal relationships or worse, social climbing endeavors). The children appear to enthusiastically engage with your child, so as they age, play dates will be initiated/requested by the children and that could increase your child's invitations. If you are willing to hang in there through MS years, I suspect (hope!) the situation significantly improves. But I completely understand your current feelings of doubt regarding school community. Good luck moving forward, either way!
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