Reply to 95yo Dad Not Accepting His Cognitive Decline

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[quote=Anonymous]You will never get him to understand. Because even without cognitive decline, it’s difficult to wrap your head around aging. Hell, I still feel like I’m 20. (And I’m far from it!) But also, with dementia, you can’t remember what happened, so your brain fills in with what would’ve happened. So he can’t remember where the groceries that suddenly appeared in his refrigerator came from. So he thinks he did the driving/shopping.

So stop hinging your next steps on him understanding and accepting. You may have to use subterfuge to get him to do what is necessary. I tricked my Mom to come visit me and while she was at my house, packed up her house and moved her into IL.

And I’m so glad I did. My parents were 15 mins away for 2 years. And in those 2 years, they were able to build a relationship with DS. And I was able to help them as things declined rapidly. And I was able to be there as they started the dying process and until the end. I’d never have been able to do this if they still lived far away.

One thing that helped me convince my Dad (who did not have dementia), was the idea of having some control over the situation. I told him, if he got sick or disabled and I had to move him and mom closer to me, I’d be making all the decisions. He’d have no choice. And told him, the last thing he’d want to do while sick or disabled is have to move.

Good luck! [/quote]

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