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[quote=Anonymous]This is by now ways a bashing post. I just need help and tips on getting though visits with him. 
He visits every 2 or 3 months. So not a lot. It’s actually a great amount. He will stay Friday to Monday. 
He lives by himself and has done so for 30 years. He was a part time parent when DH was growing up. Only really saw him for summer and then one week for Christmas. All of this info is to give you an idea of who he is.

When he visits he doesn’t really talk to the kids. When they tell him about their school or dance or soccer he says “ok” and then walks away. Example today we are making cookies. They were telling what kind of cookies we were making and he said “okay” walked away and saw me in the kitchen and said “oh what cookies are you making?!” - I think this is slightly frustrating to me.

The thing I need the most help with is finding a balance between being a good host and also being a person who lives in my house. Our house is really dark, so I like to leave the lights on especially in the living room and kitchen, or I’ll leave the blinds open to create  sunlight. Apparently he likes it dark and will go around closing blinds or turning lights off I just turned on. 
We leave our back door slightly open for the dog to get in and out, but he keeps closing it and then the dog barks to get let in or let out and then he gets mad the dog is barking. I’ve asked him to leave the door open and he keeps closing it. 
He tries to help and I really appreacite the effort but his help is the opposite. He will put dishes away, but puts them away in the wrong spot. I’ve asked him to leave the dishes and we will do them but he does it anyways. the other night he was helping clean up from dinner and was asking what to do with left over food and o said “please throw it in the trash” and he put it al down the garbage disposal. I know this is how he lives and he is older and set in his ways. But it’s exhausting.

DCUM is good at helping me find a balance of letting things go. I know I need to let the lack of conversations with the kids go. But how do I deal with the other stuff? [/quote]

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