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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They can't fix her and you can't fix her.  You need to accept that. You pushing them to try things is probably just making things worse. You are divorced and that means you can't really help very much.

I'm sure you mean well, but if this is coming from a place of divorce guilt, maybe you need therapy for yourself. You can get divorced but they can't-- distance and estrangement is their only real option. Divorce means the kids have to deal with things mostly on their own and you need to accept it.[/quote]

Yes, I'm sure therapy would be helpful for me as well, although I don't feel any guilt about the divorce.  I tried everything I could to save my marriage, but ultimately it takes two people to want a marriage to work, and that wasn't the case in my situation.  [/quote]

I mean, do you feel guilt for dumping this problem on your children? Because it's a natural consequence of divorce that they're on their own to deal with her now. [/quote]

He didn’t dump the problem of his wife on them. They are taking it upon themselves. And they need to stop doing that.

I have been in this exact scenario as the young adult. For so long I tried to help my mom. I used to make her medical appointments, which she only some times made it to. I tried to get her on financial assistance but she never got together the documentation. I used to talk her down when she was depressed but those conversations always turned into her blaming everyone else for her problems, including me, and they were just exhausting. Finally a therapist convinced me that I needed to stop because a) trying was making life extremely hard for me and b) it wasn’t helping anyway. My mom was never going to get better no matter what I did.

My dad has helped out in ways that are actually useful. Before I was making good money and was in a position to help my mom financially, he sent her 200 dollars a month. This is a ton of money to her. Second, he is planning on helping the process of getting a conservator ship when she gets inheritance money.  
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