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[quote=Anonymous]My ex wife suffers from depression and mental illness.  She is in her early 50s.  She also drinks too much (among other things) as a way to cope.  She works in the restaurant/bar industry so it's difficult for her to escape the party scene.  I do not have a good relationship with her to step in and help so unfortunately it has fallen on my semi-adult kids.  The problem is my kids are not equipped to handle her.  They have their own problems but also just don't have the emotional fortitude to deal with the constant break downs, drama, and anger that is involved.  My daughter, the youngest, has  had the most difficulty with the situation.  She witnessed her mom have a breakdown, which was obviously traumatic for her.  The drinking and subsequent smaller break-downs has a triggering affect on her.  Here is some of the advice I've given my kids.  Would love to here what others think:

- therapy for themselves.  My daughter has a therapist that is helping her work through the issues with her mom.
- confront their mom on the drinking.  IMO, the drinking makes everything so much worse. I also feel she should have some exit plan from the bar scene.  I don't think it's good for her to be constantly around alcohol.
- a total overhaul of her therapist/psychiatrist.  She's had the same two for a few years now, and IMO, they have not helped at all.

Part of the issue is my ex is extremely sensitive and everyone around her is walking on egg shells.  She has been told most of the above off and on over the years by various love ones and she usually gets upset, lashes out at the messenger, or has cut that person completely out of her life (i.e our divorce, estranged family members).

I'm kind of at a loss on how to navigate this situation, how much to be involved, and how much "advice" to give as I'm obviously not a professional.  I have my opinions but that's kind of all they are, my opinions.   Thanks for listening DCUM.

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