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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am now an only child--had a sibling who died years ago--and like some other recent posters on this forum, my parents are very critical of me and have been for many years.  They are also disatisfied by our relationship, as in, I don't call enough (I've recently been calling once a week or a bit more), I'm not open with them and sharing enough about my life, etc.  They don't see the connection between their behavior towards me and the way I manage the relationship.  All of this has taken a toll.  I recently was upfront with them about how this was really tough for me and probably predictably, that didn't lead anywhere good.  They are now both extremely hurt and focused entirely on their hurt.

I'm feeling stuck about where to go from here.  If I had a sibling or two, I would feel comfortable pulling away at least for a time.  Even if the sibling(s) wasn't in great contact with them, at least they'd be out there. But I am all they've got and I know despite everything that they love me and need me.  At the same time, it is just so hard to cope with their behavior.  All of this is also making me miss my sibling terribly because we used to talk about my parents a lot.

I really don't know what to do and I feel like there is no good answer.  Cutting them off feels overly harsh and generally a bad idea all around.  It's not what I want and would do a lot of damage.  But I am not sure there's a good in-between that all of us can live with.  For example, my setting boundaries, which I did pretty effectively when I was younger and my sibling was alive, will now generate very strong emotions and unhappiness from them.  And they won't be able to see the role they're playing that's making that happen.  I welcome advice from anyone else who's been through anything like this, especially if you're an only child.  Thank you.

[/quote] grief therapy and family therapy made be helpful for you and your parents.  I am sorry for your loss. [/quote]

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