Reply to Bad Bad Bad Bad Mommy Moment

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am just shocked that a 3 year old is doing all of this. You really have to discipline your child. Your built up frustration is from not being able to properly discipline. A 3 year old should be fully capable of not biting, punching and kicking mommy. He knows he can get away with it from you, so he does it. If I can beat someone and get away with it, you bet I would do it. [/quote]

Not the OP, but you are spectacularly unhelpful. [/quote]

Actually, while this PP may sound abrasive, I think she has an important point for OP. While OP's son may be behaving normally (according to his pediatrician and, I'm guessing, other parents of boys that age), he is behaving in a way that OP cannot tolerate. It is not acceptable to her, and she did have built-up frustration because clearly trying to redirect this kind of behavior is not working for either of them.

You need to find a consistent way to discipline your son, OP, that helps YOU maintain your sanity. He will be fine. You know you don't want to hit him or lose control of yourself, so you just have to decide on what the consequence is going to be, every single time he hits. Every kid is different this way, and since my 2 yr old is not one of those who laughs at me when I try to discipline her, I doubt I can give you the best advice for consequences. But I would say an almost-3-yr-old is way past redirecting or ignoring this kind of behavior, at least by a year. Those are very good techniques for a 1 yr old, but I don't think "normal kid behavior" is a reason not to discipline-- after all, most of what we discipline is absolutely normal kid behavior, testing of limits and so forth.

You are not a bad mommy. I think a good action plan is what helps a lot of us who might be prone to this kind of moment: knowing, and repeating over and over, exactly what the consequence for this kind of behavior will be. Hopefully some moms who have a kid like yours will be able to helpfully share consequences/discipline that have worked for them. Personally I like a combination of quality "time-in" (harder with 3 kids, I know) and time-outs, with an effort to approve of good behaviors in an admiring (but not with overly gushing praise) voice more than you scold bad. But like I said, that's what works for my 2 yr old and you might be able to figure out something different for yours. But remember, it's not just about him: it's about you, taking care of yourself and not allowing behaviors in your household that you cannot tolerate-- you want to feel loving and affectionate towards your child, and you want other people to appreciate him too, and it's challenging to love a child who is constantly taking advantage of your good nature.[/quote]

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