Reply to FTM here, how to get my mother to understand Facebook privacy re: the baby?

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[quote=Anonymous]Mom, I thought you said you weren't going to share my photos on facebook. :) This one you've just shared is fine, but I don't know how I generally feel about these things yet, so we should discuss at some point before there are baby pictures.

I thought since you'd posted them, permission was implicit.

no, not necessarily. i have shared them with my 100 closest friends and family, not with all of facebook

i don't think my friends constitute "all of facebook" but I will delete them, because I'd hate to be considered proud of my daughter

i said this one was fine and that we should discuss in person 
don't overreact

u did

i did what?

overreact

i said "I thought you said you weren't going to share my photos on facebook. This one's fine, but I don't know how I generally feel about these things yet, so we should discuss at some point before there are baby pictures."
how is saying we should discuss photo sharing an overreaction?

I said I thought since you shared them, I could to
how is sharing a photo that's already been shared worth discussing,
like I'd committed some major faux pas

here's why: I carefully control my facebook page, as you know. i have ~20 friends and then my/[DH]'s family with access to my page. when i share a photo, i am sharing it with 20 of my closest friends and with my family.
when you share it, you are sharing it with at least 396 people, many of whom i don't know
and depending on your privacy settings, which i don't know, perhaps many more people than that
so, i don't believe it to be the same thing
i didn't say i necessarily think it's wrong -- in fact, i said this pic was fine -- what i did say is i want to think about this and talk to you about it before something does become an issue

and my friends will do what with this photo?
smile and say "how pretty?"
don't worry, I deleted it and all your photos on my website, so you don't have to worry

STOP OVERREACTING
i am trying to have a reasonable conversation with you

I think having to discuss it at all is overreacting

if you want to take that position, then you can
but if we don't discuss it, you won't have access to my photos
or, you can accept that i have a higher level of privacy concerns than you and respect that and try to understand that
i am trying to understand your desire to share my news and photos and to accommodate that
so you let me know if you'd like to discuss

I said I will not post any more pictures of you any where
if that's not enough you'll have to remove me from your friends list

ok, if that's what you want, then you are choosing it
i am not forcing that upon you
i want to be clear that you are making this choice

and no photos of my child until we discuss either
i'm not trying to be mean, i'm trying to be reasonable
happy to discuss when you are ready

I will make it a point not to take pictures of your baby, but it will hurt me more than now

if you want to "make that point" and hurt yourself, then do so
i'm not making that point nor am i hurting you
i'm happy to discuss when you are ready
now i'm going to go back to work.[/quote]

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