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[quote=Anonymous]My parents divorced when I was 2, I think.  Though they both remarried several times, but I’m still an only child.  My father has always been very vindictive towards my mother, although he was the one who had a/n affair(s) and left her.  I’m mildly successful in my career, was very happily married, with a lovely family.  My dad has gotten to the point where he’s extremely successful (with a company he and my mom started together but she gave up when they divorced.  She got me and the house) and I’m happy for him.  
My dad told me often when I was a child that I was entitled, ungrateful, etc. but I think he was mainly transferring emotions he felt towards my mom to me.
Regardless, I’ve grown up to be a people pleaser who is kind of a doormat (which I take total responsibility for!) though I’m in therapy and trying to get better.
My DH and I took my mother in after she tried to commit suicide and she’s been absolutely wonderful helping us raise children and generally being a huge asset to us.
I recently lost my DH (he was 42] and it’s really thrown us for a loop as I never expected to be a single mother.  
I can afford our life (including taking care of my mom), but I’m really bothered that my father hasn’t offered any financial help.  I know that makes me sound selfish and awful, but it bothers me.  I’ve always maintained a relationship with him that was as close as he would allow.  (He spent a lot of time traveling, dealing with his girlfriends/wives, etc. and, sadly, we’ve never been very close.  (Though I’ve tried many times and offered joint therapy or anything that would help us to know one another more intimately.)
He’s worth over $30m now.  Ive never asked him for anything financial except once, when I was 23 and my apartment burned down.  He refused to loan me $3,000 at that point (which I needed to get a new apartment and, shamefully, had not budgeted for).  
And I felt very ashamed that I asked him.  It all worked out and the fire is way in the past now.  So I would never ask him, but it makes me feel crappy that he hasn’t offered any help.
Is this a feeling borne out of a character flaw of mine (and I have many!), or is it normal to expect an offer, at least?
Sorry that I sound so selfish and I do understand that he owes me nothing, I’m just interested in others’ opinions.
Sorry that this is so all over the place and I’m totally willing to hear that I shouldn’t ever expect any financial help from him!
Thanks![/quote]

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