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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas with our families. (Both my parents and my ILs live 5+ hours away.)

I happen to have local family, and when their siblings/parents visit for the holidays, there’s a bit of a “hub” here and a rare opportunity for me to see aunts, uncles and cousins who live as far away as Mississippi and Wisconsin. It doesn’t always work out that I’m here while they’re visiting, or they’re visiting while I’m here, etc., because everyone visits other places sometimes or sees their ILs, etc.

This year, Christmas will be with my ILs who will be staying with us for several days. We actually see them quite often, between holidays, summer vacations and random long weekends.

The known problem: MIL gets very huffy when I take a little time to see my extended family during “her turn.” Note that I don’t even see my family on actual Christmas Day or usually even on Christmas Eve, and when I am gone, it’s for basically a meal. (Sometimes girl cousins and aunts meet at a restaurant for an evening out, for example, or I might just roll up and hang out at my aunt’s house for a few hours to say hi to everyone and have a drink or bagels or whatever.) I don’t even always take the kids with me, because I don’t want to take grandkid time away from my ILs.

I know it’s going to come up again this year with her passive aggressive comments about “It’s OUR turn for Christmas” or “Again? Didn’t you just see them at Easter” or whatever. And no, I don’t want to invite MIL along because she’s been rude to my family in the past, and I don’t want to waste rare cousin time babysitting her while she pouts in the corner and can’t carry on pleasant conversation like a grown adult. Any ideas for how I can address this? Or should I just smile, ignore, and do what I’m gonna do, and leave her to her huffy remarks?[/quote]

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