Reply to ILs ask for gift ideas, then reject all of them

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[quote=Anonymous]There are people who need to do strange dances with gifts. It's a "gift" so you are supposed to think they are being generous and kind by giving one and even asking you what they want. They then are controlling by not getting it, but it's a gift so you7 are supposed to be gracious. You simply stop the dance. You either tell them there is no need for a gift or say you want nothing. He could also confront the issue, but it is a trap because it can be turned around as you all being sooooo selfish.

Some families really need to do dysfunctional things every year. It becomes like Lucy with the football. Just break the pattern calmly with no apology.

My mother and sister are particularly disturbed when it comes to gift giving. Mom used to get back at relatives she hated by giving their kids really noisy gifts. She thinks it's funny to give someone on a diet rich chocolates. My sister will send broken things to her favorite thing to do to people if to keep telling them a gift is coming, but she never actually sends it. I had a coworker who have someone she hated a "nacissius plant" as her way to say the person is a narcissist.

Are your inlaws nutty in other ways? If not, then lucky you! If they are then this should not be surprising. Some people can't help being passive aggressive with gifts. it's the perfect disguise because they can just make you feel ungrateful and selfish for wondering why they ignored the list they requested you provide...yet again.[/quote]

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