Reply to How did your sibling being a "dud" impact your relationship with him/her, and with your parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I actually have two in their 50s/60s but they are taking care of my parents because they have never left. Assume you will not receive any inheritance and plan accordingly. [b]Your sibling and parents will use up any assets they have.[/b][/quote]

This. Though I'm not in the "dud sibling" situation personally, I've had close friends who were, and who were extremely stressed at the prospect of arranging all care for aging, ailing parents while a supposedly healthy adult sat there expecting to be funded even as parents got older. In your case, OP, I would consider whether you need to do some research now -- [i]before[/i] your parents actually start really failing and needing care imminently, needing to sell their house/move to assisted living/whatever -- about options. So you're not doing the research as you're also stewing about your brother and worried about your parents' immediate health. I know! Your brother should be doing all this work, I agree, as payback for his being supported forever. But it's going to fall to you, so go ahead now and figure out things like their wishes re: assisted living or staying in their home (which may not even be possible); do they have living wills; do they need you to have power of attorney and/or power over medical decisions (arrange this now, NOT when they are already ill and stressed!) etc.

It is horrible to try to do any of this when a parent is suddenly in the hospital and there is no DNR order, no living will, the other parent is distressed and not making clear decisions, their Medicare etc. isn't covering enough costs, etc. It's just planning you can do now to ensure that things are less frustrating and time-consuming when they do start to fail. It also will head off any attempts by your brother to barge in and say he's going to make all the decisions at that point.[/quote]

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