Reply to What sort of boundary should I set with my adult daughter?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Her anxiety is out of control. She's 30, and she can't hang out with the family without exploding. She has what looks like rage issues, but it's really extreme anxiety, which she's worked to treat in the past. She is no longer in treatment, having not considered it particularly helpful, and she doesn't take any meds. Her husband tries to keep her calm, to no avail.

My DD said she doesn't want us walking on eggshells, but then [b]if I call her on her behavior (which she's asked me to do when she's calm), she blows up more.[/b] It's come to a head recently when she started yelling and cursing at a restaurant because of some small perceived slight.

I'm sick and sad at the thought of avoiding her, but I also know this isn't tenable. I'm empathetic to the reality that she suffers from mental illness, as I struggle myself with depression and OCD. I just don't know where to go from here. Help.[/quote]

Can you be more specific about the behavior she engages in that you are calling her out on? It's not clear to me if the rage behavior is happening to begin with, or if there is some other problematic behavior occurring, you are pointing it out (as she has requested) and then she is responding with rage. My answer is different depending on the situation.[/quote]

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