Reply to What sort of boundary should I set with my adult daughter?

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "What sort of boundary should I set with my adult daughter?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She should get a medical workup. As above poster mentioned rule out things like thyroid issues.

It's good she agrees there is a problem. I would let her know how much you love her, and how the rage impacts you. Request that she keep trying to find a therapist who is the right fit. [b]Don't make calls for her.[/b] She needs to do this herself. Let her know you want her to get better, but the rage is not OK and cannot continue. Agree that if she starts to feel rage she can let you know and if changing subject doesn't help she can leave or you can leave. You cannot be a verbal punching bag. That said, I would open the door to communication if she has a lot of anger toward you. See if she wants to discuss it calmly and be willing to listen quietly.[/quote]

I disagree with the “don’t make calls for her” advice. I have had mentally ill family members and it is often overwhelming for the person to make the dozens of phone calls necessary to find an in network provider who has openings.  Recently, for my adult DD, I did a search of all the psychiatrists in network and had to make more than a dozen calls to find even 2-3 with openings within a reasonable distance with the relevant background. Then I gave her the names and encouraged her to make the appointment herself.

I had to do something similar with another bipolar family member.  Each situation required a different approach and a light, understanding touch. Me tal illness is a disease. I would help a family member with cancer or diabetes make an appointment if necessary.

OP, you don’t mention what “treatment” was when she did it and felt it was ineffective. If it was just talk therapy, IME, for such severe anxiety it is not reasonable to expect therapy alone to work. Encourage her to try again, starting with a visit to her regular physician for a full workup of possible medical causes of her anxiety (thyroid levels, vitamin D, etc.) and prep for being prescribed psychiatric meds (usually liver panel). Then ask her to see a psychiatrist and try some medications. Remind her that medication is a process and it often requires trying several over a period of weeks or months but if she can find the right medication, it can be a huge help.  Finally, getting back into therapy is a must. Therapy is like dating, she might have to try a few different people before she finds one that clicks. Again, it can be helpful to offer a few names of in network people who have openings.

OP, for you and her husband, please consider taking the NAMI Family to Family course so you can get educated about mental illness and be an understanding support for her. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics