Reply to IL won’t acknowledge limitations

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "IL won’t acknowledge limitations "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is really a spouse and kid issue. If your spouse won’t set limits with their parents, then your spouse has to take care of it. If it means missing part of all of an event for one of your kids, the question is whether it is more important to your child that their father be there for the entire event or is it fine with the child that their father does what it takes to get grandparents there. So far we only know how OP feels but her family might really be fine with this. [/quote]

True, but making it the kids decision is a recipe for problems. Your kid may not want to admit he doesn't want to deal with the drama of grandma refusing wheel chair, dad not stepping up, etc.You could be setting up the kid for feeling guilt on what should be a special day.

It's an adult decision and the adults need to have boundaries. Their son needs to tell them wheelchairs or no go.

Keep in mind with so many elderly the ability to have empathy is the first to slowly fade. It becomes all about them and their needs. They are not going to think about how their stubbornness impacts the family. You will notice on here there will be people who feed the narcissism that comes with age by guilt tripping family members with "have some compassion" as though you don't have compassion for your inlaws and your children and yourself and your husband. You have to protect your family sanity because often it's a marathon not a sprint. If the grandparents had terminal cancer and you hadn't dealt with much elder stuff, I'd say to suck it up for their last memory. Over the years a few of our friends/relatives have passed BEFORE elderly parents and they were the types who would bend over backward for elders. Life did not reward them. You can love and include elders and protect yourself with BOUNDARIES. You don't have to allot more time only to have them fall and ruin the even with a trip to the ER. You give them choices and they choice m"my way or the highway", you say...we'll send you photos and videos! Enjoy your day![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics