Reply to I never want to plan to see my SIL again

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[quote=Anonymous]My SIL constantly tries to one-up me, and it is exhausting. I am not in competition with her or anyone else. I cut "friends" off if/when they start behaving this way, and I am wondering if I can get away with it with SIL as well.

We live 1000 miles apart. DH and I have a 2 year old and SIL and BIL (DH's brother) have a 1 year old. The cousins have never met because SIL is impossible to coordinate with. She doesn't work and I do. No I am not resentful about that - I love my job, but the fact remains that I have to plan my time off and I cherish/protect it for obvious reasons. I cannot just rearrange my plans last minute to accommodate SIL's whims, which offends her deeply.

DH and BIL don't really get along. A lot of it has to do with very different value systems between them that are perfectly exemplified by BIL's choice of wife. I used to be upset about this and try to encourage a better relationship, but I am now at the point where I give up.

As I think about 2023 and how I will spend money and time, I don't want to factor them in at all and frankly neither does DH. We want to take a "see them if we see them" attitude - in other words, we'll coordinate with DH's mother (FIL is deceased) only, and if we happen to overlap with BIL and SIL fine, if not, fine.

Yes, this means that the cousins won't really have a relationship, but they live 1000 miles apart anyway so how realistic was it that they were ever going to have a meaningful relationship anyway? 
Am I being short sighted? Can I just write SIL off and move on with my life? [/quote]

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